Shadow Master Sorcerer

This profound professor's extraordinarily powerful Shadow magic is fuelled by quantum fluctuations so minute that he had to invent his own tools to measure them. Upon realizing the potential of these bizarre, magical principles of physics, he discovered that as long as he doesn't measure himself, he can exist in a quantum superposition and therefore be in multiple places at once! This incredible revelation has tripled his productivity so now he can be teaching classes, grading papers, and snoozing in the staff lounge all at the same time!